ANKLE DEEP

I fear the water.  I panic in chest high water.  I will always wear my life jacket.  It’s a fear I am overtaking one step at a time.  Four years ago I couldn’t even be coaxed into a boat.  Now, I have gone several times, not wearing the life jacket.  I have even got off the boat once in deep water with a life jacket on.  That was a HUGE fearful ten minutes.  But I did it.  I can swim.  I could probably save my life if I needed to.  I just am afraid even though I have the know how.

Are we not the same way with God?  Scared to take the steps into the deeper things of God.  Afraid to trust.  Fearful of failing or not being good enough.  Timid in our relationships or diving in head first.  Standing on the edge of what could be.  The dictionary defines deep as: extending far down from the top or surface. This being said we need to go beyond the shallowness of our own thinking and keep taking step after step into the deep waters.

This is such a difficult thing to do.  We each have our own fears and doubts.  Our own failures and shortfalls.  Many are plagued with anxiety and depression.  Some are hopeless and lost.  Others are fighting every day just to stay alive.  No matter the circumstances we all are being called into the deep. We have this need inside of us to get closer to the promises of God.  We long to fulfill our purpose.  We want to matter in the end.

As I stand here on the edge of the water I can see what is in front of me.
As I take steps toward the deep I can still see my feet.  I can see what is at the bottom of the water.  The farther I go the less I can see.  It is when the water becomes murky and dark that I begin to question what I am doing.  It is in those moments when God calls gently for me to go farther.  He is asking me to trust what I cannot see.  I fear taking another step.  What if it drops off?  What if the sand is no longer felt under my feet?  Surely I will panic and it will be game over.

I have the knowledge that God is good.  I have learned He is the way to peace.  I have experienced His goodness over and over and over and over again.  Why then can I not just go the extra step?  Why is it I fear what will happen?  I am much happier just closing my eyes and hoping it all goes away.  I am praying that when I open my eyes there will be a sandbar right in front of me.  Guess what?  Before there can be a sandbar there has to be deeper water.  I must get from the shore to deep water to the sandbar.  I have to trust God to get me there.