Mark 11:22-24 TPT
https://www.bible.com/1849/mrk.11.22-24.tpt
This is the final blog of a four part series. Pray. Wait. Trust. Those are my words for 2020. These are verbs so they require action on my part. Prayer is essential to moving forward and receiving direction. Waiting is my least favorite one in the group. Trust comes almost too naturally for me. However, this has been a good combination of words to get me through one of the toughest years of my life.
When my husband left me in June with this gutted out home, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew I had lots of hard decisions to make. I would have to make many of these on my own, therefore praying was very important. I cried. I screamed. I walked around this house asking God what to do. Worship music on full blast, walking and praying over every inch of this house.
Let me explain the photo for this blog. To many it’s just a random cow, but to me she is a representation that I am not lost. I am not alone. That I am capable and worthy of love. This photo was taken while I was on my first road trip alone last fall. I drove by her and then decided to turn around and take the picture. This a moment I wanted to remember.
The verse which is on this canvas is a verse a man wrote on a napkin and left on my kitchen table. He was a man who just happened to stop by to help someone else with a house project. I have since stood on this verse. I know God will move my mountain but He needs me to take part in the battle. Pray.
As I was looking up the scripture to put in this blog, I read a little further into the chapter and this is what I read:
“And whenever you stand praying, if you find that you carry something in your heart against another person, release him and forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also release you and forgive you of your faults. But if you will not release forgiveness, don’t expect your Father in heaven to release you from your misdeeds.””
Mark 11:25-26 TPT
https://www.bible.com/1849/mrk.11.25-26.tpt
As I read this I paused. I was grateful in the moments of waiting that I had chosen to forgive the man and his family for what they had left behind. I have forgiven them throughout this process. I chose to say the words over and over and over and over again until I convinced my flesh to wait in a place of forgiveness. There were days in the beginning that this was a daily task. Through gritted teeth it was said until I found peace
I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE!
I CHOOSE TO forgive
I CHOOSE to forgive
I choose to forgive
i choose to forgive
While I wait for God to move this mountain I must allow Him to change my perspective and shape my character. While I am waiting it requires forgiveness and changes of attitude. All of this in the end will be worth it. Wait.
Intertwined with the praying and waiting is the five letter word trust. It means relying on someone I cannot see. It requires faith. It pushes me to surrender. But above all it lets me rest. When you trust something completely you can relax. You can be refreshed. You can find yourself again.
This is where I am today. I have prayed. I have waited. I have trusted. I have forgiven. I have healed. I have cried. I gave up a few times. I pressed in. I changed. And guess what? It’s only June so I have six more months of these words. In reality I have a life time of pray, wait & trust and I want to get it right in 2020 so I may receive a new word next year.
I have prayed my way out of yesterday. I am waiting in today. And trusting God for my tomorrow.
God was in my YESTERDAY. He is with me TODAY. His new mercies will be in my TOMORROW.
PRAY. WAIT. TRUST.
Step Upon the Golden Road with Me! 
Brenda this helped me tremendously.. I have been in a battle with myself..I find myself forgiving but I cant seem to forget and when something happens to my friends and family that resemble the hurt I have been through in 2 of my 3 marriages and I find myself getting angry because I remember the hurt and I hate to know that those who caused me pain still dont get it. Please pray that this becomes easier. It’s very hard for me to trust and not constantly be on a guard. It’s natural I know to want to protect yourself from that pain but I don’t want to reflect that on others that could potentially be very good for my life.
I am so grateful this helped you. I will pray for you. In the mean time try praying, waiting and trusting every day for 30 days. Let me know if it makes a difference!!!?