Remember when life was simple? Back in the days when picking out your clothes for school was the most difficult decision you made all day? Remember the times where you did not need a watch to tell you what time it was or how many more steps you should take every hour? A period where time was much slower? There was a freedom in those days. Yes things happened, some tragic some epic some happy and others sad, yet there wasn’t the constant nagging of the clock to keep our days moving forward.
Today as I find myself single again I discover the difficulty of a complicated world right in front of my eyes. Does anyone remember when we were in elementary school and we passed the notorious note to someone we liked? Usually there was a question, a statement and two words:
Do you like me? Check YES NO
Oh if it were only still that simple. Now there is a lot of awkwardness and insecurities flaring up like fireworks in a night sky. What do I wear? Where should we go? Should we meet at a location or one of us drive? Do they like me? Will they ask me out again? Should I call them? How long is it proper to wait before texting them? Do we end the evening with a hug? When is it appropriate to hold hands? Why are they not texting me back?
SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. So much trying to figure out what is going on.
Now I realize it is inappropriate to just ask these questions out loud. But sometimes a simple YES or NO would help to quiet the fireworks that are on display. Honesty goes along way in relationships these days, however, so many of us are very broken and still hurting from past relationships that we cannot let loose of the real person hanging out on the inside of us. Rejection runs wild out there and we often keep ourselves hidden and shy in hopes of not running off the next person who seems interested in us. The fear of opening up and being vulnerable is a valid fear.
If only we could ask the questions without hesitation. If we could still pass notes that would be AWESOME. We could just scribble our request on the corner of a piece of notebook paper and pass it on! Instead often we are off in a quite place pulling petals off an innocent daisy asking those questions to no one playing a game of chance in the garden of love.
Do they love me? They love me not.
As an adult dating comes with many levels of uncertainty, however, making lists and boundaries helps narrow down the vast opportunities awaiting your interest. Know what you are looking for in a mate. Know where you are willing to compromise and know where you will not budge. Set boundaries. Set boundaries. Set boundaries. Not to fence yourself in or keep people away but boundaries which are great avenues to real relationships. Talk about your likes and dislikes. Be willing to share what your desires are. Actually be yourself right from the beginning. If something is of importance, talk about it right off the bat.
Today is a great day to make your list. Right now is a perfect time to set up some boundaries. The fireworks will still be on display for most of us but internal we will have a clear direction. Maybe today is the day God sends you that perfect person or perhaps He already has. Just choose to be yourself. Seek the Lord. Listen for His wisdom and His still small voice to guide your steps in your relationship. Often times God has the answers to those questions we write on notebook paper.