I Was That Girl

“You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place, carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:15‬ ‭TPT‬‬

A while back I saw this girl running. She had her headphones in. Her best running shoes on. Her head was held high. She looked as though she was determined to push through all the lies she had ever believed. She appeared to be on the path to better health.

No longer accepting that she wasn’t good enough. No longer believing she couldn’t do it. No more accepting the lies. No more being a statistic. Not another day would go by where she owned the label of obesity like the charts claimed. Maybe she wouldn’t get everything exactly right. Perhaps it would take daily determination. Everyday might begin with a battle with self image. There would be days ahead where she wanted to quit. But on that day she was headed towards a target.

I did not know this girls story but I was so proud of her. If I hadn’t been driving down the road I may have cheered her on. I would have told that she was beautiful just like she was. I may have mentioned that was good enough. I would have said she was doing it right. But most of all I would not have left her side until she saw herself through her Fathers eyes.

Everyday I get up and tell myself all the things I am going to do. 10,000 steps at least. Get a walk in. 12 flights of stairs minimum. Maybe today is the day I jog. Do some reps on the rowing machine. Eat right. No sugar. Drink 90 ounces of water. Not get on the scale. And EVERYDAY when these things don’t happen I am frustrated.

Frustrated when the pants are too tight. Mad because the dress does not fit right. Upset because the shirt shows all the rolls. I am ever so happy when my shoes still fit! Or the coverup actually hides the mess I have made.

What’s a girl to do? Yesterday I was that girl with the headphones in. My head held high. My best running shoes on. I got the 10,000 plus steps. Climbed the 12 flights. Drank the water. Jogged a little bit. I was determined not to listen to the lies. I wanted to push through. Why can’t that be everyday!?

Because I am daily faced with the decisions I made yesterday. I see the laziness and lack of determination which resulted in the weight gain. I stare into the reality of what depression and lack of caring does. I look into the eyes of a woman who has made some wrong choices. I see a person who had really good intentions yet still arrived at this moment in time fighting hard against the lies of the enemy.

BUT! God says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He says I am beautiful. I am enough. I am worthy of love. I am His creation. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And guess what? He loves me just as I am.

Until we see ourselves with the eyes of our Father we will be on a continual spin cycle with our emotions. We will fight non stop with the lies from the enemy. Our only weapon in this war with ourselves is knowing who we are in Christ. We must begin each day with the full realization God only creates beauty. He created us for Himself. He loves us beyond our own misunderstandings and self-doubt.

So to the girl I saw running, I pray God reveals Himself to you. I hope you accept His invitation to love. May you begin to see the girl in the mirror as a child whose Father would move heaven and hell to be with her.

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