Change Directions

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You did it: You changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I’m about to burst with song; I can’t keep quiet about You. God, my God, I can’t thank You enough.
A lot can happen in fifty years.  A lot can happen in thirty-two years.  A lot can happen in a year.  Yet, God can take one instance and change your whole life.  You could have the wrong perspective for ten years and in one instance He can have you arrive in the right place at exactly the right time so that you can hear one sentence that changes your entire perspective.  Sometimes it comes in a word.  Other times through a movie.  Perhaps a book.  On the radio. From a billboard.  It does not matter the form it comes in, we just know in that instance it came from God.
I have had two instances in my life almost exactly 10 years apart from each other.  Both times the Lord said He had something better for my life, I just had to choose which direction I wanted to go.  The first time freed me from a 18 year marriage.  The second one I still am sure what I was released from, yet I have known from the moment it happened that I was being protected from something.  I knew in my spirit God was in those moments.  I could hear His voice.  I could feel His presence.  Even though in both of those places I had no idea what my tomorrow would look like.
There were lots of questions for God in these suddenly’s.  I was standing there with the shattered pieces of my heart right in front of me.  My hopes.  My dreams.  My idea of what love was.  My future.  All I could do was look up.  If I moved I would walk right on the remains of my heart.  If I turned around to go back I would have repeated the same mistakes.  I knew I needed a change of heart.  A change of thinking.  A change of perspectives.  I had to get back to God’s plan and not mine.
As I sit here in what used to be my kitchen, staring out the window on this blustery day in Michigan, I cannot help but feel God blowing the dust off of my life.  I feel peace coming.  I feel a new sense of who I am.  A new me who is not defined by my Facebook likes or how many people read my blog.  A new definition of my value to God.  A revelation on how much I am truly loved, not by man, but by God Himself.  I see His delight when I seek His face.  He lights up the room when I choose to rest in Him at the end of the day.
I don’t know if marriage is in my future again, I am leaving that up to God.  I thought I had done that last time.  Perhaps the wounds I had buried so deeply just were not healed enough to keep me from seeking the wrong kind of love and acceptance.  I don’t know, but I trust the One Who does.  God has me in the palm of His hand,  He has been sheltered under His Massive wing.  I am where I am today because of His grace and love.  He has kept me safe from many things.  In this time of quarantine I am choosing to allow Him to fix the remaining broken pieces of my heart so I will be ready for the next adventure.
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3 thoughts on “Change Directions

  1. Beautiful words , God bless and keep moving forward . We don’t look back

  2. Timothy Allen Monroe April 14, 2020 — 1:29 am

    Just beautiful words of wisdom on how to move forward; looking back from October 31, 2014, to February 02nd or February 03rd of 2018,[Taco Bell] February 04, 2018, to September 12, 2018 [not collecting unemployment], September 13, 2018, to May 07, 2019 [Wendys], asked for a letter of separation from Meritage Hospitality Group Incorporated on October 10, 2019, that they listed me employed from September 13, 2020, to August 03, 2019; from August 04, 2019, until now again not collecting unemployment, because I have a lawyer that is working on trying to win my case for Social Security Disability that was denied on late July of 2019 because there was no medical proof of any physical disability’s; so went in lawyer’s office in September of 2019 to protest the determination and try for mental disability, because of my mind not being able to multitask more than one job function at one time; for instance, an employer wants me to do three or four things at once within ten to fifteen minutes and move on to another three or four job duties within the same time frame for a three hour shift. [Yes, the description that I am mentioning happened at Wendy’s]. So that is why I am trying to have my lawyer fight for my mental disability, and will not know anything from him or the Social Security Administration until this COVID19 Pandemic is over with. Moving forward; I just want to collect disability from the United States Government on a monthly basis like my wife does, volunteer my time helping my family and church family at Kingdom Life. And currently, on Tuesday’s and Friday’s from 6:30 A.M. to 7:00 A.M., I meet Ben Worth at Kingdom Life for the Kingdom Life Praise And Worship Facebook Livestream for anyone that wants to view the actual Livestream from 6:30 A.M. to 7:00 A.M. or to watch it later.

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