Hebrews 12:2 “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
I must admit my life has taken a turn in a direction I was not expecting. Here I am almost at the 50 mark in life. Twice divorced. Living life to the fullest I can considering my current circumstances. My last husband left me in June with a gutted out home and here I am in November with an uninsulated home with winter looming right around the corner. I really thought love had come to stay this time. I thought it was a love built on the firm foundation of God’s love. Then suddenly one day I woke up and it was just me and the cat bewildered as to what happened. I think some days my head is still spinning.
So what really happened? To be truthful I don’t know. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life and everyone knew that about me. So here I am today contemplating what I could have done differently and there are some things that I will be doing going forward if there is a next chance at romance. Slow Down! Don’t get over excited. Take time, be it months to get to know the person. Introduce them to my friends. Keep the friendship COVERED in prayer and seek God for wisdom no matter how it looks.
So often I think we as humans jump into relationships based on what we deserve and if anyone fits that criteria right off the bat we dive in head first without asking God if that person is even the one He sent for us. We are so hungry for love and the desire to be wanted we often override what God says and justify our behaviors accordingly, only to end up a mess. We jump into an empty pool and wonder why we are not swimming in happiness. We need to realize we live in a fallen world and people are not always what they claim to be. We are on the look out for those wolves in sheep’s clothing but we miss the chameleons.
There are people out there who are different with every group they hang out with. They say the things you want to hear. They make it seem that their likes match yours. When we are desperate to be loved and accepted we miss those chameleons. They are experts at blending in. They are good at allowing you to see them like you want to see them. We are drawn in by their ability to blend and become who we want them to be only to discover they are empty on the inside and incapable of full relationships.
How do we avoid these relationship mishaps? Slow down. Get to know yourself. Get acquainted with who you are in Christ. Set boundaries. Do not settle for less than what you want in life. Choose to believe you are worthy of a good relationship with someone who truly loves your heart. Do lie. Don’t make yourself out to be something you are not. Do not try to be someones happiness, become joy instead. Be the type of person who adds joy to someones life.
Eve was created as a helpmate for Adam. It did not mean she forfeited her identity or her own relationship with God and began to create Adams happiness. She loved Adam out of her own relationship with God. She knew God created her for companionship as an equal to Adam. She added joy to Adam’s life and we should desire to be that joy in our own relationships. Heal the inner wounds for you not because your mate would be happier if you did. Choose to believe you are worth waiting for.
Keep your eyes on Jesus. Listen to that still small voice. Ask the hard questions. Be yourself. Be willing to listen to not only the person you are seeking out but with yourself. Are you doing things to please the other person but you are miserable while doing it? I know we say to look for the red flags in others but we too have our own red flags. Those flags are when we find ourselves doing things out of own character just to please others.
So be on the look out for those chameleons. They come in all shapes and colors. They often are too good to be true. They will most likely lead you away from God. They will cause distractions and soon you will end up with another broken heart. It would be easy for me to say at this point in my life that a relationship is just not worth it but that would be a lie. I desire someone whose heart is after God and that would like to venture life with me. Someone who is not trying to make me happy but adds joy to my daily living.