Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline; don’t sulk under his loving correction. It’s the child he loves that God corrects; a father’s delight is behind all this.
Ever poured so much time, money and energy into something just to have it blow up right in front of you? That’s how it has been with our car. It started about a year ago…tires, struts, springs..minor things. Then onto bigger issues…radiator, plugs, battery, alternator….oh I don’t even know how to list all the problems we have fixed one right after another…draining finances. Well, we thought the radiator would be the end since pretty much we have a brand new car under the hood. Thinking that perhaps we could now save for vacation, we relaxed.
Then I heard these words, “It’s not going anywhere.”
What? I did not even know what to do at that point..scream, cry or stomp my feet in protest. Ya know that moment when it all hits you: how are we going to afford what ever is next? How did this happen? How will I get to work? How will dad make his doctor appointments? But I have dance practice Saturday at church. Oh my goodness! How will I get to church on Sunday for the performance? Do we need a new car? How will we finance that?
So after ALL of those thoughts went racing through I asked, “so what exactly is wrong with it?” Fried computer. What? But how…and the cycle of crazy thoughts began to repeat itself. This is where the devil begins his dirty work. He gets you to this place of hopelessness and you forget who your Daddy is.
It’s been almost a week since all of this has conspired and we are still carless. We borrowed a few cars along the way to get where we had to go and now we are using my dad’s car until the new computer comes from somewhere in the world from E-Bay. What has happened in the process? It has caused us to contemplate a new car or an additional vehicle. It has reminded us that God is truly in control and that we just need to breathe and let Him guide us.
I admit I was the one who went off the deep end of the pool this time. I was drowning in doubt and unbelief. I was swimming in frustration and worry. I was so angry at one point that I just wanted to throw my hands up and say I quit! Then my husband looked at me with those eyes burning with God’s love and said, “It’s going to be okay. Just trust.”
In that one moment I realized I was not practicing what I preach..God is in control. Silly devil, ya almost got me there! My God is bigger than a fried computer. My God is bigger than getting a loan from the bank. My God is bigger than my worry. So here is my sigh and my willingness to let it go. God will either fix our original car or provide something else, I need not be worried.