This Is Who I Am

“I will give Jerusalem a river of peace and prosperity.
    The wealth of the nations will flow to her.
Her children will be nursed at her breasts,
    carried in her arms, and held on her lap.

This is what God created me to be.  A human with a desire upon her heart to serve God with all the strength she holds within .  No one else played a part in my creation.  No other human helped designed me or gave me my first breath.  Only God can take all the glory for how I was designed and created.  Only God can instill in me what He wants me to see about Him and my destiny.  I am exactly what and where God wants me to be.  Why do we has humans in Christ have such a hard time accepting this very truth?

What I am going through at this point in my life is a complete overhaul of myself in Christ.  I had gotten off the path of my destiny and now God has been doing some drastic, wonderful, painful things to redirect my steps.  As I linger long enough in His Presence to hear His voice, I am drawn closer and closer towards the destiny He already set out for me to achieve.  I have been so bound by the things of this world I could not see clearly.  I had become the great pretender and everything was always okay.  We a have  a saying in our McDonalds where I work and it has been ingrained in me for 20 years, “Fake it until you make it.”  Well, today that is no longer a motto in any aspect of my life.

I am done at this very moment in time with faking my life and making it look good just so the “world” can be happy.  I am choosing to follow my heart.  I am choosing to follow after God.  I am choosing life.  I am finally choosing life.  I am ready to accept life.  Today I take a giant leap of faith, plug my nose and dive right into the river.  The river of life God wants me to be in.  No more negative bombarding.  No more accepting the “truth” of the world.  This is who I am and where I am in my walk and God is right beside me.

I have been diligently searching God for 3 years. I attended a 54 day revival a while ago and I only missed a few days.  Yes, I worked full time and had other activities in my life but I chose to go every night I could.  I tried to get friends to go.  I tried to share what I was getting and still no one seemed interested or had a desire for God to change them.  Now here I am again in the midst of another revival.  Four days a week I am found in that place where God is changing me.  I also attend church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.  Instead of watching television or hanging out I am seeking the face of God, therefore, who should know better than I what God is doing in my life?

I am not angry with anyone.  I am not unwilling to listen.  I am forgiving to those who persecute me for my life right now, but, hey, was not our own Jesus Christ confronted and questioned?  I just want people to know that I look to God everyday for direction.  Everyday I choose to surrender it all and receive what He is wanting me to get.  I love God more than the air I breathe and without Him I would be nothing.  I pray eyes will be opened and release would come, however, until that happens I am still going to choose to love.