Just Push

Psalm 118:13
I was pushed back and about to fall, but the LORD helped me.

Ezekiel 1:28
Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.

Today as I was filling out an application to join a website concerning writing, I really began to wonder why I have not more actively pursued this passion which lies in my heart to write.  I have loved the art of rearranging words since I was in kindergarten.  I knew math was not my strong point after being the only kid in the class who did not receive a big Hershey bar for being able to say all of my numbers correctly from 1 to 100.  I despised my teacher for years because of my own failures and finally after repenting and asking God to forgive me I can remember some of the good times from those early days.

In high school I really found my love for writing as I wrote poem after poem and really enjoyed my writing classes.  I had a teacher who believed in my writing and gave me much needed encouragement as I struggled with who I wanted to become.  Well instead of focusing on my college career and getting any kind of degree in writing, I quit after the first semester because one of the teachers seemed to hate the way I wrote.  Why on earth did I give up so easily?  How often in our lives do we not push for the things we want but instead walk away from our destiny only to discover ourselves not where we want to be 20 years later?  So here I am, working in a restaurant for the past 25 years and going nowhere in my passion for writing because I let a stumbling block 20 years ago stop my voyage.  Now don’t misread me, I love my job and I have had so many opportunities to bless others here that I have no regrets, I just wish I would have been doing something with my writing at the same time.

I have decided today there is no better time than right now to change this aspect of my life.  As I go through the process of adding all the little extras into my book like table of contents and dedications, I want this to be a beginning of something new for me.  I will soar as though on eagles wings just like God says I will in the Bible.  He keeps His promises to us and all we have to do is believe.  It really is that simple.  He set before us this great race and it is up to us to decide whether we will run it or not.  Taking this race to the next level is my goal.  Yes it is one filled with hurddles, but once you have mastered the art of jumping with God, nothing is impossible.

Do you have a dream?  Do you know what your hearts’ passion is?  Are you just accepting where you are in life even though there is the fire burning within you to accomplish things much greater than this?  Is it time for you to run?  To push forward?  To gain control of your destiny?  I myself am ready to run this race full force.  I got what it takes and this fire, well it just will not decrease!  I want to be a lighthouse for someone else.  I want God to use my writing to change the world and to reach those who are in need.  I want to display my life for the world to see so that there is evidence of a better life, one full of blessings and wishes granted.  It is never too late to start running your race.  Ready. Set. Go!

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

photo by Victoria Welc

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12 thoughts on “Just Push

  1. Another very good encouragement to PUSH through and be all God has created me to be! Thanks again, Brenda for sharing, and as you already know, I love your writings and consider myself highly critical of most writers, putting you right up there with the best of them! (So there to the teacher that didn’t approve.)

    1. LOL I LOVE you Rachel, my Personal Cheerleader who is residing in a much warmer state at the moment! I take it to be a great honor to be your friend! Thanks for believing in me!

  2. Once again, I am blessed to have shared your musings!! God bless you, Brenda!!

  3. Ever since I was a child, I used to dress my barbie dolls in my own socks. My mother used to dislike when I cut them up. By the time I became a teenager, I was given a video game console. On the fighter games, the characters had alternate consumes that we could choose from. I was ALWAYS big on what my characters wore even though the goal of the game is beat your opponent, not a run a fashion show. In that same year, I had finally looked into drawing some of my first models, but they were not my own clothes, I was really just copying the things I saw from cartoon shows to magazines to whatever. By a year later, I ran into deep, deep, deep depression. I thought my life was over, I thought my plans were a waste of time and I tore up my drawings and left fashion in the dark for years. This was during Middle School.

    All throughout my high school years, Fashion never once occurred in my head. I was substituting my true love for things like Egyptology, archaeology, geology. God knows I suck at math, science and just anything chemistry like. I barely passed Chemistry to be honest. I never made anything above a C in that class. I remember actually trying to convince myself and force myself to read such difficult books dealing with minerals and environmental elements.

    When I got to college, Fashion did come back. It finally knocked on the door hard enough for me to answer it after all these years. However, the college did not offer anything except Fine Arts, but that’s not really a fashion course. For about three and half years, I put myself in denial AGAIN and settled for Mass-Communication, and Liberal Arts becuase I thought I couldn’t do anything else and getting into the fashion industry is not something that’s easy.

    When I was 22 years old, I gained a magnificent part-time job as a receptionist and there were so many, many Godly people there who were encouraging. I met this one man who was a janitor and he was the nicest person you would ever meet. It’s like you would never see him be mad or upset about anything. Becuase my mother was widely known in this hospital, he guessed that I was the daughter. We sat there and instantly developed a good friendship. But one day, he asked what I was doing in college, and I told him I was looking into mass communication, which was journalism. HOWEVER, something strange happened. He asked me,
    “But what do you REALLY want to do?” Why would he ask me that? Did I seem gloomy when I told him about my current major at that time? I told him I wanted to be a Fashion Designer and ever since I confessed the truth, this man fed Godly and inspirational words to me EVERY TIME I was there. It was so overflowing and it was so convincing that I immediately went to Wal-Mart, I bought color pencils, crayons, gel glue, a couple of drawing books, and I began drawing. One book is already filled up and I’m working on the next one. After I finally established my true goal, I lost my job by lay-off. I was severely depressed but after a few years later, I’m wondering if I got that job just to meet him.

    My major now is Marketing with Advertising Design, Management Administration & Graphic Design. Becuase this college offered no Fashion degree, this was all I could do at the time. However, I am just only 3 hours away from a Fashion School. I have spoken with them countless times and they are extremely nice and get me excited. I can transfer 16 classes to them. I am currently a senior.

    The downside is that, I may have to redo a whole degree once I get down there becuase their version of marketing may not be the same. Plus I’m 25 and it might take me until I’m 40 to finally call myself a fashion designer. I don’t ever want to wait that long and it sucks that I postponed myself so long. What’s even worse is that I don’t even know how to get down there to a whole different city. I know no one down there, where the nearest hospital is if I ever need it or where to even live.

    But I was given some advice from CBN that said that Abraham always wanted a son, and even though it seemed so impossible because of their ages and becuase of his wife being barren, which I assume they made a big deal about back in those days, God gave him a son anyway. So what may seem impossible in our eyes is not impossible to God. I pray to him ALOT for my future.

    I love clothes so much that if you were to visit my room, I barely have no room for my clothes. I buy them a lot, but most of the time it’s not for my good becuase I don’t really have the free money to spend :p. But I have to fold my clothes under my bed, In boxes, on shelves and on the closet floor.

    Thank you So much for sharing your story. I have been feeling a little down lately about this same situation, but reading your story has boosted my confidence again. 🙂

    1. Wow!! Thank you for sharing…lol..now I know I am not alone. God can use us at any stage in our lives, we just have to be ready. Be Blessed! I know you are going to make an AWESOME Fashion designer and I hope you remember me when you hit the big runways! (send me some stuff, I gotta look good as a writer, right?) All kidding aside, it took me almost 42 years to decide I am ready to let God move me in the realm of writing, you still have lots of the race to run! I pray you much success!

      1. LOL!! Okay, I’ll send you some clothes for 25% off. I will have you in my prayers as well! God Bless 🙂

  4. I started a writing course and quit a few different times..Ideas keep forming but I too often listen to those old tapes in my head. I recently received a letter stating that I could be reinstated for a small amount and I do know that I am to finish what I started..

  5. Throw away the old tapes!!! Go ahead, do it now…I’ll wait…..If writing is a passion for you, then go for it! It is never too late to start or finish.

  6. It never ceases to amaze me how relevant your writings always are. I qualified as a radiographer many years ago and worked very hard doing 8-5 then being on call most nights and weekends. When my second daughter was born premature i resigned as she needed full time care even tho she was 100% healthy. I became interested in child development and started working at a preschool. My daughter was with. My third daughter was born and then iopened my own preschool. Worked very hard for a year and put all my savings into it. After a year we closed as the landlord was a very difficult old man who also did witchcraft on the premises. We had no start up capital to have another school and i couldnt understand why god allowed it to fail as i had worked so hard, and was providing a christian preschool to lower income groups. A week after closing the school i got a call from another school asking if i was available as they desperately needed a teacher. I have been with them for five years now and absolutely love woking there. My two youngest children both came with me to school and got free schooling. I did a preschool correspondence course but never received my certificate. No amount of correspondence made any differene. Where i live, you need to be qualified to teach preschool and its been a worry that im not properly registered. No amount of prayers helped either to get my certificate!! I decided to do another correspondence course tha would qualify me to teach primary school and maybe get a job at my dAughters amazing school. It was impossible to raise the money required and i missed the deadline to register. I was so upset as i really believed that was the way forward for me. People at my middle daughters school were even asking when i was coming to work there!! Last year a new employee made life difficult for me. She was jealous that i was so popular with staff and parents and went behind my back to the boss with dreadful lies about me. Rather than enquiring first, my boss hauled me over the coals as she thought i wasnt helping this new lady. (looking back it was also a case of pms lol!) i was so hurt and let down, after all i have done for them, they took a newcomers side over mine without even letting me defend myself. I went home and cried my heart out, was so upset. I felt i would rather leave than be treAted like that. By the way….we are a christian school and the teachers pray together every morning…so the bosses response and my colleagues, really shocked me as it was so un christianlike. I emailed a friend who gave me a business idea.

    To buy a portable ultrasound machine and start my own business doing 4-d pregnancy scans. (im qualified for this as a radiographer and absolutely LOVED doing pregnancy scans).

    I couldn believe this was the way i wAs supposed to go. What about my teaching career? (i take a big interest in special needs children). I prayed about it and jeremiah 1 :5 came to mind. Before i formed you in your mothers womb i knew you!! The image was a large picture of an unborn baby with that verse printed below….as people walked in the door to have their scan! Wow!

    But i was very hesitant….a lot of money is needed to register with the medical council, to register a business, to get work permits and to buy the machine. I was doing a devotion about working with god, and how can people see him working in ur life if u just plod along comfortably and dont trust Him for bigger and better things in ur life?
    So i
    took a leap of faith and spoke to my boss about resigning. She was very upset!! She asked me to stay on this year for the first term to allow them to find a replacement. Funny how god works. The company regisration hasnt gone thru yet…so if i had left i wouldnt have had an income. I also believe i need to pray for this colleague and work things out with her. So far this year we have been getting on really well!

    My youngest has also left preschool and started primary school so i feel that my time there is over. There is a season to everything! God had a plan along…

    Now i need to stand in faith for all the registrations and finance to go through. It is absolutely impossible for me to do this on my own as i dont have any savings or a spare cent to my name. WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH MEN IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD. i am trusting HIM for HIS plans for my future and will go wherever he wants me to go!
    Just HAD to share this with you! Be blessed!!

  7. Thanks so much for sharing! God knows when we are not headed in the right direction. Things just do not happen like they “just” happen when we are following after God in the way he wants us to go! I know God will make this road easy for you. Surrender and Seek Him with your whole heart and while you eyes are on Jesus, things will begin to happen and you will discover that you did not even have to do anything at all!!

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