Cutting the Tie

Matthew 19:8
He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

Today, I am blogging something the Holy Spirit has been poking at me about since Saturday night.  I know that testimonies change lives and that if we would only begin as a church body to share more of our lives with people, God could do greater good in the earth.  What I am about to write is personal and heavy, I just felt I should put that warning out there.  Okay, with that said, here we go.  Marriage is important to God.  It is a sacred relationship between one man and one woman.  We are to seek God first when searching for  a mate and as I now counsel young men and women alike, start a list of what you want in a mate and submit it to God.  Stick to the list, never compromise. God has a plan for your life and it is up to you to trust He will connect you with just the right person.

So many times in the recent separation, people have asked me about divorce.  Why are you still waiting?  Why are you not legally separated?  Why have you not started the divorce proceeding?  I know those persons ask out of love and just want what is best for me, however to stay Biblical and until God speaks to me and releases me, divorce is not the answer.  Yes it has been over two years.  Yes I get frustrated that I sometimes still got stuck with unpaid bills from him, but God always provides.  Yes I sometimes get tired of waiting, yet I am content in my circumstances.  I would not have grown so close to God at this point if He wasn’t the only one in my life that I am clinging to.

Now, when God caused the separation between my husband and I, He made it VERY clear we were not to have any contact.  No emails, no texting, no phone calls and certainly no face to face encounters.  We were both addicted to each other whether we could see it or not and God knew that bond needed to be broken in order for each of us to heal.  the first year was really tough.  We have two children so I THOUGHT I needed to communicate things concerning the children so I would text my husband.  I wanted to make sure he knew my expectations so I emailed him a few times.  When he called I thought to myself, I need to answer this, what if he is coming back to the Lord or got a job or just needs to tell me something important.  When he texted I felt the same way, what ifs bounded in from everywhere and God was trying to protect me from this but my flesh was so unwilling.

Finally about a year ago, right before I began going to the revival, I received that last text I ever read from my husband, since then I have been very good about deleting voicemails and texts.  I was hurt so deeply by what I read in a simple text that I finally understood what God was protecting me from.  The text simply said, “When you are done playing church, text me and see if I am still waiting for you.”  Cut me like a knife, I cried so long over that.  God gives us specific direction in our lives so that we will be protected from the ploys of the enemy and so often we choose to ignore the situation and the warnings and just keep doing what we want to do, often being hurt is the end result.

Just a few days ago, I was a prophetic mentoring class at my church.  After some soaking music time, prayer and a lesson, the floor is open to those who need personal prayer.  Five chairs are placed in the altar and we are invited to sit if we need someone to pray over us.  I was called up front to pray over another lady and as it was finished, a man looked at me and told me I needed to sit.  Nope, I was fine where I was, did not feel as though I needed any prayer that night, however he was pretty stern about it so I sat.  Some two hours later, there I was: no makeup left from all the tears, filled with joy, had forgiven some people in my life and dealt with some bitterness issues along with some healing for my lungs.  God sure knew what He was doing and I was just ready to go home and continue resting in Him, however, Satan had other plans for the rest of the evening.

As always I check my cell phone before leaving and found I had 4 messages…..all from my husband.  Now he has not tried to contact me in quite some time, except for his aunt passing just recently.  I knew in my heart, though to the human I eye this looked like it could be an urgent matter, that this was merely an attack.  The joy I had just received from God that night through intense prayer, Satan wanted to steal away so quickly.  I handed my phone to my friend who was with me and asked her to delete all the messages.  As she did I calmly walked the isles of the church in prayer and not allowing this to ruin what God has just filled me with.  In the end my friend tells me I need to send one more email to my husband.  Um, God, what about the no contact rule?  Did that change?  So I asked her to be sure about this and she ended up calling me before I got home asking me to give her the email because she was the one who was to send it!

God is good.  He watches over us and when He does something that we just don’t understand at the moment, if we are following in obedience, then we know it is for our own good and we just have to trust.  As I was walking the isles a vision came to me about divorce.  What if when people divorced, they had to come before God?  Sort of reenacting the marriage but starting at the altar first instead of the outside of the church.  Would this stop some divorces?  Would this give God the opportunity to change hearts?  I certainly would love to be a part of Divorce Ceremonies if I knew God could change lives through it.  Can you imagine inviting you family and friends to a Divorce Ceremony?  How much more difficult would it be to walk away?  Now I know there are all kinds of reasons for divorce and even Biblical there are exceptions, however I am really speaking about those couples who have been faithful to each other but have just somehow lost that love and are thinking they made the wrong choice and now just want out of the marriage.

I bought a purity ring to wear while I am separated (my wedding rings were smashed by my husband one night in a fit of rage) and this ring serves two purposes:  one it keeps me honest and two it shows that I am already taken.  I have no desire to begin a relationship with any other man for any reasons.  I am not lonely, God is my husband for the time being.  I know God is at work on my behalf as well as my husbands.  In the mean time God is teaching me how to heal and is working to show my husband what he needs to learn as well.  In closing, just know that God loves you right where you are at and He knows you will make mistakes but He is a just God and one who easily forgives.  I trust Him with my life and I know He only desires good for me.  I pray you come to this same understanding and embrace your marriage for what God intended it to be.  If you are single and looking, make your list and stick to it.  If you have been broken by human love, seek God.