The Silent “I’m Sorry”

Psalms 38:18 TPT
[18] I confess all my sin to you; I can’t hold it in any longer. My agonizing thoughts punish me for my wrongdoing; I feel condemned as I consider all I’ve done.

https://bible.com/bible/1849/psa.38.18.TPT

How long have you waited for an apology? Have you ever been given a half-hearted apology just to keep you quiet? Has someone in your life passed away, and you are still waiting for them to say “I’m Sorry” for something they did years ago? Are you stuck in a prison of waiting for the apology that is probably not coming? (I just answered a resounding YES to all of those questions.)

We all have testimonies of pain. Stories of neglect and abuse. We have, in one way or another, had people in our lives not being held accountable for the wrong they have done. The words “I’m sorry” have never come across their lips. In fact, for some, the thought of saying it hasn’t even crossed their mind. Why? Because they too are broken, hurt, and incapable of seeing what their actions have done to someone else. Does this excuse the behavior? No, however, it causes us to look elsewhere for comfort.

Exodus 14:14 NIV

14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

God says in His written word that He alone will seek vengeance on those who cause trouble and pain for His children. But how do we release the pain? How do we stop thinking about the things done against us? What do we do to move on? When do we learn to just be still and know God is fighting on our behalf? I assure you my friends, it is not easy.

It can be gut-wrenching. Tears may fall. Words might come like fire from your mouth. You may have feelings you find hard to contain.

It is hard to swallow sometimes the things people in our lives do. Their actions leave us speechless, frustrated, and feeling unloved. Often, we can not see why they acted the way they did or said those hurtful words. However, sometimes God will remind us that there have been times in our lives where we have worn those same shoes, and we are drawn towards compassion. We come to the realization there may be persons out there waiting for us to say, “I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

Regardless of what side of the fence you are on, there is always room for growth. Whether you are on the giving or receiving side of wrongdoing, there is that call to forgiveness. If someone has done wrong to you, forgiveness is a release for you and allows God to move on your behalf. If you are on the opposite side and you are guilty of wrongdoing, forgiveness can work three-fold. It frees you from the guilt, opens a doorway for God to reveal healing to you, and mends relationships.

Waiting for the silent “I’m sorry” causes us to focus on the wrong things. It is a place where bitterness grows like wild weeds. It makes us angry, sad, and closed off. Don’t those sound like enemy plans? He wants you isolated. He wants you to be lonely. But most of all, he wants you to be afraid of relationships. When we are afraid, we shy away from the many things God has in store for us. We move farther and father from the purposes God has for our lives.

Take a moment right now and make a list. Who are you waiting for an apology from? Whether living or passed away.

Is the Lord bringing someone to mind that needs to hear you say “I’m sorry”?

Now, take this list and place it at the feet of Jesus. Choose today to let these things go. By releasing these things to God, you are now giving Him the ability to move on your behalf. He may create opportunities for these things to be resolved or give you the peace to unlock the prison door.  No matter how God moves, be assured it is for your benefit and for your personal growth.

My prayer is simple.

God, heal our perspective.

Give us peace in the moment.

Help us make peace with the silent I’m sorry.